IM SO GODDAMN ZEN I COULD CRAP
We had some stressful times with Margaret. Before Rosemary was born I was prepping myself for a year or so of coming home to a grumpy mommy more evenings than not. But, oh man, Stephanie has been amazing this past month. Yesterday I got home from work and she was cooking dinner with a baby strapped to her while dancing around singing songs from Annie with Margaret. Every night I get home is pretty much the same. A house filled with three happy girls.
I don’t know how she does it, but whatever it is Stephanie is doing is amazing.
A friend of mine posted a link to the 7 E’s of HOOKING UP. (don’t Google it, it’s just as horrible as you imagine). For the benefit of all the fellas here, I thought I’d post my own 7 E’s. Guaranteed to work, every time.
- Encounter: See a group of women
- Ejaculate: Whoops. I swear this has never happened before.
- Eliminate: Sorry ladies, cumming makes me have to poop.
- Estimate: I should be back in about 15 minutes, stay right here
- Effervescent: Grab yourself something fizzy to drink on the shitter
- Erotisize: Run into buddy in the bathroom. Boast about the moves you are gonna pull tonight.
- Emerge: Get the hell out of the bathroom. Your courtesy flushes did nothing.
We are the fishes, the mightily mightily fishes. 🎶🎸
I obtained top secret video of Boston Dynamics next project: WildCat 3000
Rosemary Rebecca, 7lb 9oz, 20.5in, born just after midnight on 9/18.
We’re teaching Margaret to baby-sit while mommy and I go down to the hospital bar.